Date: 9 Jul 2010 Comments: 0

Your Attitude, your mindset can have a great influence on your flirting ability. Go in with an ideal attitude and you’re almost certain to get a positive response. Go in with a negative mindset and you don’t stand a chance.

Now, everybody knows that confidence plays an important part in all forms of communication, including flirting. However, in this post, I want to discuss a different and rarely mentioned aspect of the “inner game”. What I want to focus on is your value mindset. In your mind, what value do you assign to your self and what value do you assign to your partner?

The big mistake many men make when they approach women is that in their minds, there is a huge discrepancy in value between themselves and their partners.

On the one hand, you have the typical shy guy who’s been hesitating much too long before he finally approaches a girl and has placed her on some kind of a pedestal. To him, she is an almost angelic being and he’s already decided that she’s out of his league. Clearly, this is not a great position to start a conversation from.

On the other hand, there is the typical “macho jerk” who’s probably very drunk before he ever approaches a woman and sees her as very inferior. The “jerk” usually doesn’t have the courage to approach (and risk rejection from) someone he truly respects. So, he looks down on women in general and has a “they are worthless anyway” mindset. While being a jerk puts you in a better position for generating attraction than being the “nice guy”, it’s still not a very good attitude for a successful flirt.

In both cases, you’re at a clear disadvantage for successfully flirting with women, simply because you’ve got the wrong attitude.

In summary: Don’t approach women with your tail between your legs, looking up to them in admiration, but don’t come across as the uncaring macho man, either.

So, what’s the ideal mindset? Ideally, you should initiate flirting with a woman with the mindset of: “I wonder if she’s interesting?”

This mindset prevents you from feeling completely inferior to her, makes sure that you will get her to qualify herself to you (a very important attraction factor) and at the same time it implies that she might be very interesting and engaging (i.e. prevents you from being disrespectful and disinterested).

Unfortunately, your attitude can’t be changed at the flip of a switch, but going in with the above question in mind is bound to at least give you somewhat of an edge. Here’s my challenge to you: Talk to five people today with the above question in mind, and see what happens…